Stupid french dog

First, there's the one that walks through the yard and starts smelling everything(it's a hunting dog) before deciding to sit down with a hard on: he doesn't get the fetch game at all. We throw a stone and all he does is look the opposite side. stinky dog.

Then there's the small appartment dog -a sausage on a stick- who gets lost and starts crossing the street in the middle of traffic(small village traffic but still.) So i run after him trying in vain to get him to cross that freakin' road and get him on the curb, but instead he decides to keep running on the road alongside a line of parked car. When i finally catch up with him and put my hand on his ugly fur he stops, lays down and bites me. a small bite because he's so old his jaw's weak. it's a small road and the cars are wondering what that foolish girl -me- is doing running after a stupid dog, while i'm totally embarrassed and telling all the cars that it's not my dog. (Next time i'm rushed out of the house to go get some bread for breakfast i'll get changed. Yes, this whole time i'm running in my pajamas, with my UGG boots that i usually only wear inside the house because they are too embarrassing to wear out, and my big ass black sunglasses. And a hella big country bread under my arm.)